if our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
by flower gettin' lady
Summary: "At first Jasmine hesitated, but suddenly she was scrambling to Debbie's side and clinging to her arm, whispering words of comfort. 'It's okay, Debs, it's gonna be okay.' And it was." Jebbie reunion fic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Finally, finally, I've started writing this. It came to me while I was watching some of the more recent Debbie stuff on youtube (POOR DEBS! WHY DO ALL THE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO HER?!) and wishing Jasmine would come back. I hope this is decent… I've been really out of the writing groove lately. **

**Also, in this I'm writing as if Debbie found out about Cameron and Chas right before she went into labor (because Andy (?) was texting her the pictures then, I believe). I also have it so that Sarah is at home while Debbie's at the hospital. Basically, I'm taking a few creative liberties.**

**Please tell me what you think!**

* * *

There was a sort of hollow despair that followed realization. It filled her chest, aching and pulsing, until she wasn't sure if the twisting in her heart of the contractions in her abdomen hurt more.

Most times Debbie wasn't surprised by the actions of her family; they were good-hearted people, yes, but they could never seem to learn from their mistakes. But this… she'd thought Cameron would finally be the one to give her a safe, stable relationship. Of course, she'd thought that with almost everyone, and here she was. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel about Chas's part in the whole mess. Debbie had come to her for help before, and this was how she'd been repaid.

No wonder Cameron still hadn't show up. He was probably with Chas, too busy to see the birth of his son – but not biologically. Was that why he'd cheated on her? Because she'd slept with Andy to save Sarah?

Good riddance, she thought. If he couldn't understand her actions in trying to save Sarah, then she wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

So why did it hurt?

* * *

"Just sign there, Miss Thomas, and then you're free to go."

_You're free to go._

Four words. Four words that sounded nearly foreign to Jasmine's ears, after four years of hell. It was insanity to her, that after all she'd been through they let her with a few simple signatures. She was a _murderer_. Wasn't there some sort of protocol? Shouldn't officers be tracking her day and night?

She guessed it had something to do with the fact that there'd been 'extenuating circumstances'. Sometimes Jasmine wondered what might have happened if she'd just let Shane rape her. Would he have killed her afterwards? That question had plagued her during the sleepless nights in prison, when she could feel the ghost of his hands drifting all over her body, making bile rise in her throat until she was sick all over the floor.

There was no way to know for sure, her counselor told her (odd, she thought, to have a counselor in jail). Best case scenario, she should've run as soon as Debs had knocked out Shane. Even then, Debbie would've gotten time in prison, since Shane was a cop and would've gotten her in trouble.

Often Jasmine wished that she'd just let him. It would've been painful, it would've damaged her beyond belief… but it wouldn't have hurt half as much as knowing she'd killed someone. No matter what the other inmates did to her, no matter how they hurt and humiliated her (_"Pretty little rich girl, too short to fight back and too weak-willed to argue."_) knowing she was a killer burned so much more. It drove her to things she hadn't known she was capable of.

Jasmine shook the thought from her mind, hand shakily scrawling her name across the black dotted line. The man overseeing this whole affair looked thoroughly bored; he didn't seem to notice the stutter in her voice or the tremor in her hands.

"Thank you." he said mechanically, filing the papers away. The guard by the door stepped aside, opening the door to her. "You're free to go. Don't give us a reason to bring you back."

She shuddered. "Never." She'd be content to live an invisible life for the rest of her years, if they were even that long.

The taxi drive back to Emmerdale was impossibly quiet. All those people, everyone who'd known or read about the entire affair in the papers… what would they say? Had Debbie gotten out of prison by now? She'd only had a few months, but Jasmine didn't know how well she was doing. Was Sarah alright?

She had to stop thinking about it all, especially when her mind drifted to Ashleigh and Laurel. Somehow she thought that it'd be torture to face them again. They'd hate her, for what she'd turned into. They'd be ashamed and turn her away.

Everything was eerily quiet when she arrived. There were several faces she didn't recognize, and a few she did. They didn't seem to notice her, thank God, because Jasmine didn't feel like dealing with anyone at the moment.

She4 found herself wandering down streets aimlessly. She had no money, no place to stay… all she'd been given was the purse she'd been carrying when she went to prison. Odd, that they'd kept it for four years as though it'd be helpful when she got out. All it held was some lipstick, crumpled receipts, and a worn pictures of Debbie.

That was who she had to find. If anyone would understand, if anyone would let her into their home, it would be Debs. She'd said they would be forever. Surely she wouldn't turn Jasmine away?

After an hour or so she came to realize that she didn't actually know where Debbie was living, or if she was even in Emmerdale any longer. It seemed likely, considering that her job didn't pay enough to afford moving, and she'd wanted custody of Sarah. Chances were that Andy wouldn't allow Debbie to take Sarah away from him, so Debbie would have to stay.

Jasmine finally mustered up the courage to ask a bystander for directions to Debbie Dingle's house, and headed there before the person could poke and prod. She hadn't recognized them, but they'd been curious as to who the strange girl asking for Debbie was. _Newcomers_. Apparently they hadn't read the papers four years ago, thankfully.

The house was quiet when she got there, but after several persistent knocks a little blonde head appeared in the doorway.

"Excuse me," she asked, doing her best not to scare the little girl, "where's Debbie?"

"Mum?" she girl asked. So that was Sarah… she'd grown considerably since Jasmine had last seen her. "The hospital."

"The hospital?" Jasmine's heart sped up. What had happened?!

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, daddy says she went there to go get the baby."

"Um… alright. Thanks."

Jasmine hurried off, horribly confused. Had Debbie gotten together with Andy? Or had she gotten a new boyfriend? She tried to bury the twinge of jealously. Debbie could be with whoever she wanted, after all. She deserved happiness.

* * *

Debbie wasn't entirely sure what she hated more; the fact that even thinking about Cameron was making her angrier by the second, or that almost all of her family had crowded into the room to watch her baby be born. It was making her even more anxious than she'd been.

This baby had to be okay, otherwise she'd lose Sarah. There was just too much pressure on her, with everyone staring and waiting and hoping.

Not to mention the fact that as soon as she'd screamed at her dad to keep Cameron out, and then explained why, chaos had broke loose. Her dad had gone out, completely enraged, her mum following to see if she could calm him down. Lisa was with her at the moment, Sam standing nearby and nervously shifting back and forth on his feet. All the others were outside, talking loudly enough that she could hear all f them talking about how they felt awful that this had happened to her.

_Just more gossip for them, Poor Debbie Dingle, always choosing the worst men. Always losing them to prettier girls._

She hated it, she hated lying in bed being in pain, and she just wanted a friendly face. Unfortunately, she couldn't think of one, other than her daughter, and she didn't want Sarah to see her.

Then a nurse was protesting outside, while a feminine voice insisted on coming into the room. What now? Debbie chose to ignore it, biting back another groan as contractions kept hitting.

It was like she'd been doused with ice-cold water when she looked up. There Jasmine stood, wrapped tightly in a jacket and looking so much older and paler than Debbie remembered her. Her face was sunken and hollow, eyes glassy. She was so different from the bright-eyed, beautiful girl that Debbie had known.

Still, none of that mattered. All she knew was that there was one person in the room that she didn't hate, and she needed comfort so desperately that she didn't care how Jas looked. "J-Jasmine…"

"Yeah." Jasmine mumbled, taking a few shy steps forward as though she wasn't sure if it was her place to be there. "Is it okay if…?"

Debbie nodded mutely, holding out a hand. Her entire body was wracked with pain, but it didn't seem so bad if only Jasmine would stay.

At first Jasmine hesitated, but suddenly she was scrambling to Debbie's side and clinging to her arm, whispering words of comfort. "It's okay, Debs, it's gonna be okay."

And it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Whoo, another chapter! Just warning you, but I start school tomorrow so I'll probably only be posting on weekends from now on. I'm really sorry about that, but it can't be helped.**

**P.S. This isn't spellchecked. You've been warned.**

* * *

In the end the nurses gave in, letting Jasmine curl up on the bed with Debbie through the ordeal, and long after Jack had been born and taken away to be poked and prodded by doctors. It'd been quite a shock, and, in Jasmine's opinion, terrifying to see Debbie in so much pain, but once Jack had been born Debbie was fine again.

At least she seemed fine.

Jasmine yawned, nose bumping against the back of Deb's neck. "Morning."

"Hmmm…?" Debbie inquired sleepily.

"It's morning. Well, afternoon, if you want specifics."

"Jasmine—"

Jasmine pouted, even though Debs was facing the other way and couldn't see her. "One-thirty, to be more precise, and don't you start makin' fun of me."

"Jas." Debbie repeated, rolling over with a grimace. "You came back."

The seriousness of her voice took Jasmine by surprise; normally Debbie hadn't been one for all the emotional stuff, unless it was a shouting match. She cared, of course she cared, but most of their relationship and been teasing and talk of silly things.

"Yeah, 'course I did." Jasmine said. "I haven't got anywhere else to go, have I?"

Debbie shrugged. "You've got your Aunt and Uncle. 'Sides, aren't there school friends, people who…"

Jasmine bit her lip, watching Debbie's face shift from confused to understanding. "No."

"They all know, don't they?"

"Yup." Jasmine said, nodding briefly. "But that doesn't matter anymore. I try not to think about it."

Debbie nodded in understanding. Of course she'd know, Jasmine thought. There were so many things about her family that she never mentioned, never talked about… sometimes it was easier to just bury them.

"Can I stay with you?" Jasmine asked hesitantly. "I know it's a lot to ask, and you've got two kids to take care of, but—"

"Yeah." Debbie said immediately, pulling Jasmine closer and planting a light kiss amongst her limp brown curls. "You're always welcome to stay with me."

"I'll get a job." Jasmine added quickly, eyes lighting up a bit. "I will, and I'll help with groceries and the kids and things, honest. I just need to get back up on my feet again, get my bearings. I've, um… I've almost forgotten how to live in the real world."

At least it would provide a welcome distraction. There were too many dark thoughts clouding her head, ones she decided she would squash with hard work. Hopefully, with enough physical exertion, she'd be able to fall asleep once in a while.

* * *

As it turned out, there was lots to do.

Bit by bit (in-between naps, of course) Debbie told Jasmine everything that had happened; how she'd gotten Sarah back, found Cameron, and then discovered that Sarah had leukemia. She also told her about how Chas and Cameron had been seeing each other behind Debbie's back, and she'd found out about it when she'd gone into labor. Jasmine had been horrified and wanted to go straight after both of them, but Debbie had begged her to just stay. She explained that she honestly wasn't surprised by it, considering her family's past.

Jasmine therefore dedicated herself to guarding the hall while Debbie slept, shooing away do-gooders and family. They didn't take it too well, but she figured that after having a baby Debbie deserved some rest.

She was slumped in one of the waiting chairs, rubbing wearily at her eyes, when Cameron showed up.

"Excuse me, miss?" he asked. He was an odd-looking man, and one Jasmine didn't recognize. "Are you a friend of Debbie's?"

"Yeah, a friend of sorts." Jasmine said. "You can't go in there."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so." She snapped irritably. "I don't care who you are, alright? She needs rest."

He shifted, hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets. "You don't understand, I'm… I was her boyfriend. No, I am. No, I… well, it's complicated. I just want to make things right by her."

Jasmine guessed that Debbie's dad had found him, if Cameron was questioning whether or not he was in a relationship with Debbie. "No."

"Yes." He insisted, taking a step closer to the door.

"No!" Jasmine ordered him, rising from her chair and putting herself between him and the door. She could feel her chest tightening, panic setting in. Why'd this have to happen _now_? "No, you aren't going anywhere near her. It's over."

"You know what happened?" she couldn't tell if he sounded offended or surprised.

She nodded. "Yeah, Debs told me. You're not allowed near her or her kids ever again, got that?"

He took another step forward, stance menacing. "Who are you to order be about like that? I don't know you, I don't remember Debbie ever mentioning you."

"I still care about her more than you." Jasmine said. She could feel her heart fluttering against her ribcage, and her breaths growing shorter. _Damnit, damnit, just go away. _She pleaded silently. Deciding to use a different tactic to scare him away, she added, "We were lovers once, you know."

He snorted. "Funny. Now move."

Jasmine wasn't entirely sure if he meant o be threatening, or if he'd really hurt her, but the next thing she knew he was holding onto her arm, and she was screaming. Instinct told her to lash out with her arms and legs, buying enough time to run, but she couldn't just abandon Debbie like that.

"Whoah, hey, hey!" he admonished, jumping away from her like he'd been bitten, holding his hands up in surrender. "Calm down, I barely touched you."

"Leave." She begged, throat constricted by imminent tears. "Do it, now."

He considered staying only for a moment, eyes all the nurses who'd stopped when they'd heard Jasmine scream, and then abruptly turned away. _Thank goodness._

She felt foolish for being so afraid the minute he left, sinking back into her chair and burying her head in her hands. It was so hard, it'd been awful in, prison, and—

_No,_ Jasmine reminded herself. _No. Don't think about it._

She glanced to check on Debbie, feeling her heart plummet when she saw Debbie staring at her with a mixture of fear and concern. The moment she had Jasmine's attention, she gestured for her to come into the room. Jasmine stood up and went to the door, desperately trying to mask the utter panic she could still feel in the pit of her stomach.

"Jasmine?" Debbie asked, watching her like a wary animal about to bolt. "What did he say to you? He's a pig, you shouldn't listen."

Jasmine shook her head mutely. It was no use, trying to explain a fear so deep-rooted that she didn't really understand it herself. Maybe she had before, but not after four years…

Instead of trying to explain for make an excuse, Jasmine burst into tears, managing to make it as far as the bed before her knees gave out underneath her. "Sorry, so sorry." She choked out between sobs, fists bunched in the cheap hospital bedsheets.

Debbie gathered the thin, trembling girl into her arms, going from sleepy and confused to comforting and maternal in less than a second. "It's alright, love, it's not your fault. I don't know what he did but I won't let him again."

It was a long time before Jasmine came to her sense again. After a while there just weren't tears left to cry, so she laid nearly on top of Debbie, arms wrapped around the taller girl's middle. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Debbie said, the briefest of smile gracing her lips. "Really, I mean it."

* * *

Debbie was released after four days, during which Sarah got a bone marrow transplant from her new baby brother. Jasmine let Debbie spend that time with Sarah by herself, not wanting to intrude when Sarah had no idea who she was. That, ad she was honestly afraid that Sarah wouldn't like her. Not that it was likely, of course, but she didn't really remember how to talk to children.

When Debbie was finally released and they drove home, Jasmine found herself getting ridiculously nervous. "Debs, is she going to like me? Are you sure?"

"Jas, for the millionth time, yes." Debbie said. She pulled her house key from her pocket, unlocking the door. "I don't know why you're so worried about it."

Sarah was curled up on the couch with Andy watching telly when the two came in. Debbie had Jack balanced on one arm, and Jasmine was just trying to keep herself together.

"Thanks, Andy." Debbie said in a tone that clearly mean it was now time for him to go. "I've got this now."

He looked like he wanted to protest, but when he caught sight of Jasmine he did a double take. "Oh. Um…"

She hadn't known him that much, not really, but obviously he'd heard what had happened to her. He was close to Debbie, of course he'd heard. "I'm back." She supplied helpfully.

"Ah." With that, he nodded to Debbie, kissed Sarah on the head, and left.

"Mum, is the baby here?" Sarah asked eagerly, turning around to check. "He is! Although I did want a sister…"

Jasmine chuckled, watching as Debbie sat down next to her daughter with Jack in her arms. A perfect little family.

"Yes, love, this is Jack." Debbie told Sarah, beaming at her. "And he helped make you better. Isn't that nice?"

"He gave me the magic potion?" asked Sarah.

Debbie laughed. "Yeah, he did. Also, Sarah, I want you to meet someone… Jas?"

Jasmine nodded, managing to stay upright as she came to sit next to Debbie. "Hi, Sarah. I'm a friend of your mum's. I'm, um.. I'm going to live with you two for a bit."

Sarah regarded her with interest. "You're the lady that came here a few days ago, asking about mum." Then turning to Debbie, she added, "I didn't know you had any girl friends that weren't your family."

"Yeah, well I do." Debbie said, ruffling her daughter's hair. "And you need to be very nice to Jasmine, alright?"

"No, Debs, it's fine, she doesn't have to." Jasmine added quickly.

Sarah just laughed at the both of them, walking over to Jasmine to give her a hug. "But I like you! You're nice, and you're pretty, like mum."

"Thanks." It was strange, getting such a sincere compliment. Jasmine couldn't remember the last time anyone had called her pretty or nice. "You are too."

Debbie gave a her a 'told you so' look as she stood, taking Jack upstairs. "Right, you two, don't have fun without me. I'll be back in a mo, just need to put Jack down for his nap."

Jasmine nodded, settling back on the couch with Sarah, who immediately started to chatter on about the program she was watching. Possibly the most endearing thing she'd seen, Jasmine thought. She could feel her spirits lifting just the tiniest bit. Maybe staying with Debbie really would help her get better.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I've had this chapter written for nearly a week but didn't post it, 'cause it just didn't sound that good to me. I dunno, I have confidence issues, I guess. But I've tried to fix it as much as possible and I think this is as good as it's gonna get. So yeah, enjoy!**

They spend the afternoon and evening by filling it with small talk, telly, and taking care of Sarah. Debbie can't get anything out of Jasmine, other than "I'm fine" and "Really, Debs, everything is okay."

Of course Debbie has reason to doubt it. She's spent a fair amount of time in prison, and she knows what it can be like if you're not used to sticking up for yourself. Years living with her family taught her how to fight and how to watch her own back, but she knows that Jasmine was brought up with everything given to her. Fine, so she's a fair fighter (that was how they met, after all), but Debbie doubts that she'd last in any fight inside a prison.

But despite this Jasmine brushes it aside, says she's alright, and acts as though the last four years have never happened. Sarah doesn't seem to notice - not in the way that Debbie does - but she helps steer the conversation to lighter subjects, like her school friends and how much she hates maths.

Eventually Sarah tires and Debbie tucks her into bed, at which point jasmine suggests they both do the same. They're both tired, and Jack's finally started to quiet down, so she says that they'd better take the chance while they've got it.

Debbie lays in her bed, staring at the ceiling as her eyes refuse to close. Why won't Jas talk to her? She was always the one that wanted to deal with emotions, why won't she do it now?

She resolves to try and help somehow, even if it means going and talking to Lisa for help. That, or Laurel. Laurel didn't really speak to her after the Shane incident, but Debbie knows that she'll help if it's for Jasmine's sake.

She's finally started to drift off, happy with her solution, when she hears a scream.

Her mind immediately identifies it as neither Sarah's nor Jack's. _They're safe, they're safe..._ but that means that it's Jasmine.

Debbie nearly breaks her neck scrambling down the stairs, the frightened cries reminding her vividly of the bad nights jasmine had, when she'd dream of Shane rising from the lake and coming after. Is that what she's dreaming now? Debbie almost doesn't want to know. it could be Shane, it could be prison, or it could be related to both.

Jasmine seems to have her entire body tangled in the borrowed blanket on the couch, and she's fighting it like her life depends on it. Debbie tries pinning Jasmine's arms to her sides, shouting, "Jas! Jas, wake up! It's okay, it's okay."

Jasmine, still terrified, lashes out blindly and hits Debbie in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Pure fear is powering Jasmine's strenght, and since she'd only had a baby a few days before Debbie isn't really equipped to deal with it.

"Jasmine!" she shouts, taking hold of the small girl's shoulders and shaking her. "Wake up!"

She wakes with a gasp, as though she was drowning and just broke the surface. "D-Debs?" she gulps, panting and shaking. "Debbie...?" She sits up so abruptly that she falls of the couch with a thunk, wrist landing at an awkward angle that makes Debbie wince. Jasmine barely seems to notice.

It's different this time. With the other nightmares, as soon as she was awake and reassured of her safety (or Debbie's presence), Jasmine calmed down almost immediately. Now her breathing is only getting faster, eyes growing wider and wider. "Yeah, Jas, I'm right here and everything's fine."

Jasmine shudders, body trembling so hard that she's making Debbie's body shake to. "I don't... I-I... Debbie, please... help."

"Help?" Debbie questions. "I don't understand... did you hurt yourself when you fell?"

Jasmine shakes her head wordlessly. it seems like every movement is making it harder for her to breath, harder for her to focus. "D-Debbie..."

Debbie's terrified now, and it only gets worse and she sees little Sarah's face peeking at them from the top of the stairs.

"Mum?" Sarah asks quietly. She looks utterly terrified.

"Go back to your room, sweetheart." Debbie pleads. "Jasmine's alright, I promise, she just had a bad dream." it's such a huge understatement, considering jasmine is nearly on her lap now, cowering from some unknown fear.

"She doesn't look okay." Sarah mumbles.

Debbie turns her attention back to Jasmine, briefly ordering, "Go!" to Sarah.

Jasmine gulps, looking up at Debbie through tear-laden lashes. "I don't... I don't know what's happening, Debs, I just... I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

"It's okay." Debbie says, trying desperately to soothe her. "Breathe with me, okay? Everything's fine, Jas, you're right here with me. Whatever it was, you just imagined it."

Her advice, though spur-of-the-moment, works. Jasmine takes a few shuddering, deeps breaths, until finally she's calm enough to be coherent. "I'm so sorry, Debbie, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That was worse than the ones you used to have." Debbie notes quietly, stroking her hair.

Jasmine shrugs. "Maybe."

After a few more minutes Debbie helps Jasmine back onto the couch and gets an ice pack from the fridge. Not wanting to leave Jasmine alone for longer than necessary, she motions for her to move over and curls up next to her on the couch. "This is for your wrist." She says, holding out the ice pack. "It looked like you'd fallen on it."

"Oh.. ta." Jasmine mumbles, wincing at the cold when she presses it to the bruise already forming on her skin. "Sorry if I hit you or anything. I didn't mean to, honest."

"I know." Debbie soothes. "What... what were you dreaming about?"

"Nothin'."

Debbie's tempted to reply with "Didn't seem like it." or some equally irritable response, but she doesn't want to upset Jas anymore than she already is. She can ask questions later.

Sarah appears at the top of the stairs again, a stuffed giraffe clutched tightly to her chest. "Mum? ... Jasmine?"

"It's all right." Debbie tells her.

Sarah comes down the stairs, a childlike fear still lingering in her eyes. "Someone was screaming and crying." she says, pretending as though she hadn't seen what had happened.

"Sorry, love." Jasmine says, and it kills Debbie how upset Jas sounds. it wasn't her fault for having a nightmare.

"S'okay." Sarah mumbles, brightening up considerably. She comes over to them and climbs into Jasmine's lap. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Jasmine nods. "Yeah."

"What it about monsters?"

"Well..." Jasmine shrugs, her laugh bitter. "Sort of. It doesn't matter what it was about, because I'm going to forget about it soon enough. Okay?"

Sarah nods. "Okay. You know, when I have bad dreams, I tell my stuffed animals about them."

Debbie chuckles. "Do you, sweetheart?"

"Yeah! An' they help keep away all the scary stuff." Sarah says. She holds out the giraffe to Jasmine. "You can sleep with him tonight, if you want."

It's the first time that night that Debbie has seen a real smile on Jasmine's face. "Thank you." She says to Sarah sincerely, taking the old, ratty giraffe. "That'll definitely help."

Sarah, pleased with her work, hugs Jasmine and Debbie, then scurried back upstairs before she can be reprimanded for being out of bed. She can usually get away with it, considering everything else she goes through, but sometimes Debbie scolds her if she's up too late.

"So, you going to tell the sack of stuffing your problems?" Debbie asks Jasmine, once Sarah's gone.

Jasmine sighs, fingers absently picking at loose stuffing. "Nah. I'll be alright, Debs, I promise. I'll tell you if I need you for anything."

"Alright." Debbie gets up, yawning. "You want me to stay? 'Cause I can, but I do need sleep."

Jasmine looks as if she's about to say yes, but finally shakes her head. "Goodnight, Debs."

"Goodnight Jas."


End file.
